Tea with the Queen

Why Sharing Your Vulnerable Stories Matters with Brianna Ansaldo

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Here’s my dirty little secret: after five years of podcasting, I still get sweaty palms before hitting record. Every. Single. Time.

You’d think it would get easier, right? Like muscle memory should kick in, and I’d just cruise through episodes without that flutter of panic. Nope. The nerves are still there, whispering all sorts of unhelpful things about judgment and saying something stupid.

Today, I’m here with Brianna Ansaldo, head of podcast production company Bamby Media, who has been the one gently pushing me toward sharing more of myself and my personal stories. Away from the safe harbour of interviewing guests and into the terrifying waters of actually talking about…me. My life. My mistakes. My weird little quirks that I’ve spent years trying to keep professional and polished.

Turns out, those are exactly the bits people want to hear.

The Power of Personal Stories

I get why we hide behind our “professional selves.” It feels safer to keep things surface-level, doesn’t it? Stick to the expertise, avoid the messy human stuff.

But here’s what I’ve learnt: those supposedly “inappropriate” or “unprofessional” parts of our stories? They’re gold. They’re the moments that make someone listening in their car think, “Oh my god, me too.”

When I share the time I completely bombed a presentation because I was too nervous to eat breakfast, or how I used to hide in bathroom stalls during networking events…that’s when the real connection happens. Not because I’m some polished expert, but because I’m human. Just like everyone else.

Don’t Share from a Place of Trauma

But—and this is important—there’s a difference between sharing your story and trauma-dumping on the internet.

Brianna and I are pretty firm on this: your stories need to come from a healed place. Not the raw, bleeding edge of whatever you’re going through right now. That’s what therapy is for (and yes, I’m a big fan of therapy).

Share from the other side, when you’ve done the work, learnt the lesson and can offer something useful to someone else walking that same path. It’s important to remember that your podcast isn’t your personal diary, and your audience isn’t your therapist.

What Happened When I Got Human

Since I started sharing more of myself, something interesting happened. My long-term clients stopped only showing up for business advice. They started asking about my weekend, remembering details about my life, treating me less like a service provider and more like…well, a person. My engagement went up. Not because I got more professional, but because I got more human.

The thing is, sharing vulnerably didn’t hurt my credibility. If anything, it enhanced it. Turns out, people trust you more when they feel like they actually know you.

What Makes You Irreplaceable in an AI World

In a world where ChatGPT can spit out decent business advice in three seconds, what makes you irreplaceable isn’t your expertise—it’s your experience. Your specific, messy, beautifully human take on things.

AI can’t replicate the time you cried in a Target parking lot after a failed product launch. Or how you figured out your pricing strategy while stress-eating cereal at 2am. Or that weird confidence boost you get from wearing your lucky socks to important meetings. Those stories? That’s your competitive advantage.

If you’re sitting there wondering how much of yourself to share, start small. Share the story that makes you a little nervous but not nauseous. The one that might help someone else feel less alone.

Those pre-publish butterflies? They’re not trying to stop you—they’re telling you this matters. That you care enough to be scared. And in a digital world full of perfect facades and AI-generated everything, caring enough to be scared—and sharing anyway—is pretty damn brave.

Thanks for sticking with me through this ramble. Now go share something real. Your audience is waiting for the human behind the brand.

Read The Full Transcript

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[00:00:19] Brianna: [00:00:00] So we are gonna have a little bit of a different chat today. I'm gonna talk to Emma about something that she was asking me before we actually started recording. So if you don't know who I am, I'm Brianna. I'm the, uh, head of Bambi Media. We're a podcast and video production company, and we work with Emma.
And I love doing these sessions with Emma, where I sit in on her recordings, okay. And I help her. Like record or just at least be an audience there, or give her a bit of guidance on how to finish an episode or how to start with a good hook or a good story or something like that. And so Emma came to me and she said, well, what did you say, Emma?
Tell [00:01:00] me what you said.
[00:01:00] EMMA: said,
feel nervous still making this podcast after five years.
[00:01:06] Brianna: and I think it's become probably more nerve wracking for you. After we started working together and I said to you, you need to stop doing so many guest episodes where you're highlighting all the guests and we have no real look into who you actually are.
[00:01:23] EMMA: I know, I know she pushed me folks. She really pushed me and I
[00:01:28] Brianna: I.
[00:01:28] EMMA: it,
and I
also hate her
[00:01:29] Brianna: Ha ha. Hahaha. And so, yeah, Emma came to me today with this, this kind of feeling of like, why am I still like nervous about this? Why is it still hard to do? And is it valuable? Like, is is what I'm providing valuable? It feels like maybe it isn't. And, and so I wanted to have, like, we wanted to have this chat today to have this discussion about what it's like being a business owner.
[00:01:57] EMMA: Yeah.
[00:01:58] Brianna: A content creator. That's what [00:02:00] you are. You are a content creator.
[00:02:02] EMMA: I don't see myself that way, but Yep.
[00:02:03] Brianna: No, exactly.
[00:02:05] EMMA: Yeah.
[00:02:06] Brianna: being a, a business owner and a content creator, and a saleswoman and a, you know, a mother and a wife, and all the things.
[00:02:14] EMMA: things.
[00:02:16] Brianna: how do you become comfortable as a business owner also being the front face, the personal brand? Of your business.
[00:02:29] EMMA: It's a great question. Also, I wanna say that Brianna said it's good to have nerves. It's good to have nerves. But then when I told her what my nerves were, which is almost tread showing up to do the podcast, the actual. Recording of it. 'cause I'm like, am I gonna say the right things I have enough material?
All the things just. Oh, this is just me being really honest. Right. And the last set of, podcast episodes, if you haven't listened to them, were very personal. So personal. [00:03:00] After the one about one of my mom, I got off Bre, I didn't tell you this. I got off and I had a little cry I'm like, that was so hard to record and put out there.
And then thank goodness I was overseas when it came out, because if it was here when I came out, I probably would've had the same feelings over again. I also am so desperate to show people that you can show up as you and it's okay, and I'm just still trying to get into that. right? Like just showing up as me and it being okay, we're like conditioned to be a certain way and I have always been a rule breaker, is not great.
But anyway, always been a rule breaker and so I. Sometimes have to hide that because that's not necessarily appropriate. And I'm, I'm done with being appropriate. I, I've got things to share. It's just how do I do it in a way that serves the audience? And this isn't just a platform that I talk about myself 'cause that is not what I wanna do.
[00:03:58] Brianna: Yeah. It is not like you [00:04:00] are a, like a, an influencer that's wanting to get higher up in the influencing world, you know, and, and get more followers and, and get brand deals and all that like that. That's not why you are here, you know, and I think the thing that's interesting, what I've found from watching the progression of you over the last, you know, however long we've been working together is.
Part of my role here is to look at what happens when we post things on your LinkedIn and we see how that goes. Right? So especially that stuff that's really hard that, you know, things when you're talking about what happened with your mom and like, ugh, you know, we wanna make sure that you are coming across and still being represented That you're not just like, oh, here's my sad story, you know, because that's absolutely not what it is.
[00:04:52] EMMA: It's not coming from a place of trauma,
[00:04:55] Brianna: No.
[00:04:55] EMMA: I've healed, and this is the thing I will say how I've gamified this. So I know I [00:05:00] say I am nervous and I dread, rocking up for podcasts. And that is nothing to do with Brianna. That is nothing to do. That's just a me thing, right? But how I've gamified it is like trying to add in a shocking truth so that Brianna's face goes, I go, oh yeah, nailed it. So maybe I've just hacked myself and gamified it in a way that makes it bearable for me.
[00:05:24] Brianna: And I think it's good when I'm on these sessions too, especially when you're sharing things like this where it feels like you're just not talking to yourself. I feel like that helps. And so when, when we've posted things on LinkedIn and they've been really hard for you to record, but then you see what happens on the other end when people are then thanking you.
For sharing that stuff and saying like, oh my God, I love you even more now. You know,
[00:05:51] EMMA: Yeah.
[00:05:51] Brianna: That's what makes it worth it.
[00:05:53] EMMA: Yeah, and you can see the impact. It's just you've gotta get over your own nerves and scaredy cattiness [00:06:00] in order to have the impact. that's the bit that I'm constantly pushing myself to do. I mean, no one would think Me recording a podcast episode is hard for me. No one would think that now until this episode.
It's been five years. Does it get easier? Yes, it does get easier, but also if your content shifts, like we've shifted ours, and if you are the focal point and it's just about you, that's like next level, right? And then you start talking about your own personal situation and you start talking about things that. Have previously been seen as taboo. And that was one of the reasons that I really wanted to do that because we've got a stack of mental health stuff going on in my family, and there is still so much stigma there doesn't have to be. And if someone is brave enough to say it, and the amount of, to your point, the amount of private messages, I get to say, man, that episode really resonated for me.
Thank you for sharing it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you know what? If we've impacted one person, that's the whole reason I went into business in the first place. Right? How do we [00:07:00] impact one person at a time? And if. It does that. I've done my job, but it's still fricking scary.
[00:07:05] Brianna: Yeah, totally. And then the, the, I guess the trajectory of how this works from a personal branding perspective is, and Emma and I have spoken about this privately, we're, you know, we are not airing her dirty laundry. We are not damaging the brand by sharing these things. These are things that are always from the frame of, this was hard, but I got through it.
Or this was crazy. Oh my God, I'm never doing that again. Like buying a motorbike, but this is what I learned. And so there's always, from the story, from the trauma, from the stigma, from the whatever, what. Out of that story has pushed you to become who you are and why you do the job that you do.
So that's a question that you have as a listener to think about for yourself. If you are scared or worried about sharing some of yourself, you need to think about [00:08:00] how the story that you can craft can turn into something that will help someone.
[00:08:04] EMMA: Yes, and I think at this point it's important to say you cannot do that when you're sitting in trauma. I see women turn up on Instagram mainly, and they're in tears. They're in the middle of the thing and they just should not, just don't do it. Right. It's not actually serving your audience, it's just helping you let it out and rant. I just don't wanna be that person. And all the stories that we've got are, I've healed from it. I've done the work, I'm on the other side. I would not share anything that I was just a smack bang in the middle of. I just don't think that's fair on my audience. And I'm not sure how that's helpful in serving the audience either.
So I just wanna put that caveat in there. 'cause I think some people use social media as like a venting ground to help them heal. I would never do that and I'd never recommend it.
[00:08:55] Brianna: Yeah, and I think, again, that's another, that's another type of. Person that [00:09:00] does that where they feel like they wanna share that messy, you know, I'm in the middle of the thing. and that, that a certain type of person will also respond to that and will want to follow that person.
to how they then would work with that person.
Like if we're talking from a professional standpoint, that doesn't make sense, does it?
Yeah.
[00:09:22] EMMA: I have a lot of clients who are in the messy middle. We have lots of tears, lots of laughter, lots of things. Would I share it? No. Would they share it? No. It's a, it's a private journey And this is what I struggle with, right?
There's gotta be some privacy. Like I'm actually quite a private person, so when I share the things I've thought heavily about them, I've thought about what the implications are and I've gone, yeah, okay, this would be, this would help serve an audience in this way. So I've already thought about it versus not having any thinking to do with it and not being in the messy middle of it.
[00:09:54] Brianna: Yeah, a hundred percent. I think that's really smart. And where you're at now, [00:10:00] do you feel like you, you understand the benefit of what you're doing?
[00:10:06] EMMA: Oh, good question. As in podcasting, do you mean?
[00:10:09] Brianna: Yeah, I think pod podcasting. And then more generally how that impacts, like what have you seen that kind of shift for you in the last, let's say, six to nine months?
Yeah,
[00:10:19] EMMA: the, I think the benefit of how I'm sharing up, showing up now that people know me more for sure. Like we have nailed the, a sneak peek behind Emma's life, what it actually means, how I got here, why I'm here, et cetera, et cetera. also even my clients I've worked with for years now religiously listen to the podcast. 'cause they're like, we don't wanna miss that bit like. What else don't we know about you? And I find it fascinating because I was having a conversation with one of my clients and she's, I didn't know that about you, Emma, and I went, well, in our coaching sessions, the coaching sessions are actually about you.
They're actually not about me. And what I've realized is people need more of me. I don't wanna take up this [00:11:00] coaching session talking about me, right? Because it's actually about them. Like they're investing in coaching to get the coaching, then I'm like, how can I pop snippets of myself into that so that they still feel like they know me? Because the worst thing is you think you know someone for five years and then they turn around and go, oh yeah, I did this, this, and this. This is a classic example, right? We had a retreat on the weekend, thriving Women Retreat, and I happen to mention that. As a teenager, I got put in the back of a paddy wagon. Now everyone was like, what? Because they only know me as this like professional business coach. And then, you know, I was able to. To sing a whole song about being in the pa back of a paddy wagon, and they all thought it was hilarious. It didn't take from my professionalism for who I am now, but it showed them that, oh yeah, she's got this other life.
And I suppose on the weekend it kind of like occurred to me that it's okay to share those bits of yourself. You don't have to share 'em all, like don't go all [00:12:00] ugly, but you can share the bits that. Have a great story to them, but also so that people can get to know you as the human being. And you know, in the world of ai, we did a great masterclass on ai.
It blew my brain, but one thing that I know is that in a world of ai, when content can be written by ai, the human aspect, the stories that we tell, we just have to let those out because people wanna work with human beings. And I've always said that, but it's like. AI's just like push that a little bit further.
Right? And so I'm not saying we don't work with ai. I'm saying be human. Share the stories that make you you and be okay with that.
[00:12:39] Brianna: Yeah, absolutely. And I think it just makes you more interesting, like
a person to then wanna work with you if they know a bit more of your backstory and they can see that you deliver on what you say you're gonna do. Having that. Altogether makes me go, Ooh, Emma's the one for me versus someone that's just spouting [00:13:00] like the same business coaching advice that I can get from anybody.
Emma's got her whole story wrapped into it, and then is also a very professional woman. So it just becomes this bigger kind of package of wonderfulness versus bland. Could be ai, but is actually a person just not giving you any of themselves.
[00:13:22] EMMA: Yeah, and I mean the elephant in the room about now is the amount of business coaches that are out there, Brianna,
[00:13:28] Brianna: Hmm.
[00:13:29] EMMA: lot, right? There's a lot of coaches out there, and so I. You have to work smarter and more strategically about digging out the bits about you that are really unique because there are so many, might I say cowboy
[00:13:45] Brianna: Mm-hmm.
[00:13:46] EMMA: there And, given my background and my experience and my, time in business and doing all the things. Just because I show up and I'm real doesn't take away from that. Whereas I thought [00:14:00] before, I thought, I can't tell anyone the other bits about Emma McQueen because then I won't be taken seriously. And I think especially on when I first started on LinkedIn, I had so many, sorry boys, I had so many blokes reach out and say, no one's gonna take you seriously 'cause you're wearing pink.
And I'm just like, you know what? If you like, that is ridiculous. That is not going to happen. And but that stuck with me. 'cause I'm like, maybe I can't show up as me, then maybe me isn't good enough. And I just had to go, don't be stupid, Emma. Give yourself talking too. Let's get on with this. Like, you are enough.
You are good enough. And who cares that you wear pink? It's your favorite color. Screw it. You know? So I think you gotta work through all these things as well.
[00:14:38] Brianna: Yeah, and you get better at it over time. And so for the person that is listening or watching this right now, if you are the kind of person that, like you're an entrepreneur, I think this is the thing. If you are an entrepreneur, someone that's trying to build a business and you're not sharing yourself,
[00:14:56] EMMA: Yeah,
[00:14:57] Brianna: you are just gonna get lost in a [00:15:00] sea of everyone else.
[00:15:02] EMMA: Same. Yeah, totally.
[00:15:03] Brianna: and someone can go to chat GPT and ask the question that Emma could answer, right, and then chat GPT would give them a perfectly fine response. You know, maybe there might be some hallucinations in there, maybe it might not be completely accurate, but chat GPT could do a pretty good job.
but Emma, or coming to someone that has a personality, has a story, and then knows nuance,
that is going to be the difference. And you won't learn how to develop that nuance without sharing some of yourself, without knowing and understanding, and establishing that what you're building is a personal brand first,
and everything else comes.
After that.
So when you're nervous, like Emma said, you know when you're nervous, when you're dreading, these are the things that you have to have in your mind. Why am I doing this? It's to build my business, but it's also to help [00:16:00] others. And if you're dreading and if you're nervous, that is a very good thing.
It means you care. Yeah.
[00:16:05] EMMA: I care a lot. I don't care about what people think, so I, there's no people pleaser about me, but I care a lot about the quality, the value, you know. I just care. So I'm just gonna go with yes, I'm completely nervous and always outta my comfort zone. And for that hour and a half, once ever, whatever we do when we do it, that's okay.
Just have a nap after.
[00:16:27] Brianna: Have some tissues and a.
[00:16:29] EMMA: Have some tissues and a nap. No more tissues, no more crying.
[00:16:33] Brianna: Uh, okay. Well that was nice. Any, any of the things you'd like to discuss before we close out?
[00:16:39] EMMA: I would just say that, just because I am the business coach doesn't mean I don't have these really human feelings. And I think when you've got a group, Ben, you've got a big community, they're like, you almost get put on a pedestal, right? Like, she must have it together. She must not feel nervous, she must not feel all these things.
And that is just not true. feel them when we [00:17:00] do it anyway, right? I, I think about go-getters days. I don't like being up on stage, so I try and get on the mic and off the mic as quickly as possible, but I love bringing the community together. You just have to do the things. So I suppose this is one, a pep talk for me.
Just do the things. do the things and don't complain. Three, do the things, don't complain, and just keep showing up. I would say
[00:17:22] Brianna: Fantastic. Nothing more I need to say on that. Nothing more I need to say, look, I've done my job. You're just, you're doing so well. That's awesome.
[00:17:31] EMMA: Mic drop. I've done my job.
[00:17:34] Brianna: Oh, okay. Have a good day everybody.
[00:17:37] EMMA: Thanks everyone. [00:18:00]