Tea with the Queen

[00:00:18] Emma: [00:00:00] Are you in the right room? Not the room where everyone knows your name, although how lovely is that? But the room that stretches you, scares you a little and makes you think bigger. When I first started my business, I was making a grand total of, yep, $0. Yet I walked into a business school where the people around me were making half a million.
I mean, even a million dollars. Did I feel out of my depth? Abso fricking lly. Were there tears? Yes. Lots of them, I'm ashamed to say, but that room, that room changed me. It stretched me. It made. So incredibly uncomfortable, and it showed me what was possible if I kept going. If I [00:01:00] kept sticking to the process, if I kept connected to my why, did I feel out of my depth?
Yes, yes, I did. In today's episode of Tea with the Queen, I wanna share why it matters to be the small fish in the big pond and what I've learned from deliberately putting myself in the bigger rooms. And most importantly, I'm going to give you three points and three super practical tips that you can put into action straight away.
As usual, grab your cup and let's dive in. Hey, firstly little story. My daughter, the beautiful Evie, has been playing basketball for a number of years now and she loves playing with her buddies. The whole point was to play with her friends, and a couple of weekends ago, she shot seven goals. Now, this is a child who we had to bribe and pay a dollar a goal.
At the beginning of her basketball career, she shot seven goals. They won by eight goals. In In total. So she shot seven of them. [00:02:00] Now, I'm not being a proud mom when I say this, although slightly am might be biased, who knows? But she has improved a lot. She has filled in the high in, in the higher grades, and she's held her own.
But what happened next stunned me a little bit. We had a grading game the very next day after this day that she had played incredibly well and on the grading. Games she was playing with younger kids and kids in grades below her. There was no stretch, there was no one competing with her. and she was being graded for where she was not where she has aspired to be.
You see, and this is my first point, growth lives in bigger rooms. If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.
Being the small fish forces you to grow. In that very first room I joined, I knew nothing compared to the people around me. [00:03:00] I had no runs on the board, no income, no business track record, and yet I stayed. And sometimes cried. My impatience was palpable in that room, and I wanted to be off racing, but I had to remind myself, baby steps, Emma, baby steps.
It was hard. It stretched me. But being in that room gave me ideas. It gave me accountability, and it gave me a glimpse of what success could look like for me. And once you see what's possible, you can't unsee it. Right. In our thriving women community, we have small group coaching. It's based on revenue streams, so we have revenue streams, zero to a hundred, a hundred to 2 50, 2 50 to 500 and 500 and above.
A few of our ladies are ready to move up to the next group. Which is amazing for them, sensational. And when I told them that, they asked if they could stay in the group or they told me that they still had stuff to [00:04:00] learn at that level. You see, my second point is that comfort keeps us small. I like comfort as much as the next person.
I like a nice warm bed, don't you? But staying warm and comfortable doesn't get you out on the pavement. And here's the thing about. Being comfortable. Comfort is seductive. Don't you think? it feels good to be in a room where people nod at your ideas, where you are the one who gets to answer all the questions, where people see you as the leader.
But let me tell you, when you are the biggest fish, you are not learning. You are not stretching, you are not growing, and you're certainly not being pushed to think bigger. Growth happens at the edge of discomfort. Lemme say that again. Growth happens
at the edge of discomfort. It happens when you walk into a room and you think, oh gosh, do I even belong here?
It happens when you walk into a networking function and you feel so nervous that [00:05:00] these people may be out of your league. That's when you know you're on the right track. It also might mean that you've got a little bit of vomit in your mouth and you do it anyway. We love that we have all been to those events or been in those courses or those memberships where the people are awesome but not big enough to stretch you.
Maybe they were once and you've evolved or you've grown, or you're on a different trajectory. I very proudly don't work with hobby businesses. They kind of drive me a little bit mad because people don't have time to invest in hobby businesses, and some of my clients have had beautiful side hustles, but they have been hungry to make it a full-time job.
They've been hungry to make it a full-time business, but we don't work with hobby businesses because they don't have enough time to invest. And my third point is bigger rooms bring bigger ideas. They stretch you. As I started to make [00:06:00] money, those first rooms started to feel smaller, and it wasn't that I had fundamentally changed.
I loved the people in those rooms, so don't get me wrong, it's not about the people in the room, it's just about the next level, right? And so I had to go looking for bigger rooms. Rooms where I was not the leader room where I knew the very least, and that was hard.
And while I have zero need to run a $10 million business, that is not my goal. The ideas that come from those types of achievers are absolute gold, sometimes overwhelming. Yes, but gold nonetheless. And here's the magic. You don't have to adopt everything you hear. You take what serves you and you park the rest.
But even being exposed to that level of thinking. Changes the way you see what's possible, don't you reckon? I've got three practical actions for you to do today. You might be wondering, how does this apply to me? [00:07:00] Here are three things you can do this week. Number one, audit your rooms. Write down the communities you are in, the Mastermind you might be a part of, or groups that you are within.
Then ask yourself, honestly, honestly, am I the big fish or am I the small fish here? Number two, you need to choose stretch over comfort. Pick one, just one new, bigger room to explore in the next 90 days. Maybe it's a networking group, maybe it's a mastermind. Maybe it's an event or a networking thing, or maybe it's a mentor who feels a little intimidating.
And number three, stay grounded in your goals. Bigger rooms can feel overwhelming, so when you step into one, just choose one idea you'll try in your business, write it down, test it out, and see what happens. So often I see people go into bigger rooms and then they wanna do all the things at once and then end up in a little messy piece of [00:08:00] chaos.
Please don't do that. Please don't do that. Just pick one thing. Here's what I know to be true. Growth never happens when you are the biggest fish. It happens when you choose the pond that stretches you, challenges you and shows you what's possible. Your challenge this week, audit your rooms. Find the one that feels just a little bit too big and commit to stepping in simple.
Not easy. I get it. But that's where the magic is. And if you're looking for a bigger room that's warm and supportive and full of women who get it, Hmm. That's exactly why I created Thriving Women. It's a space to stretch, to be challenged, and to grow alongside other women who are doing the same. If you want results, check us out at Thriving Women.
Thanks for joining me today on Tea with the Queen. Remember, small fish, big pond. That's where your next breakthrough is waiting. [00:09:00]