“I should be able to do it on my own”

How many times have you said this to yourself? It’s usually when you’re struggling and feeling overwhelmed. The truth is, you can do it on your own – but it’s lonely.

We crave connection. We need interaction. When we’re unsure, lacking confidence and exhausted, we like to know we’re not the only ones feeling this way.

Women, men, children – we all want and need a relationship. But in a world of increasing disconnect, meaningful connections are hard to find. There are so many ways to connect now and yet, we feel lonelier than ever. This is something I see time and time again in my leadership coaching practice.

Loneliness is making us sick

Research shows that loneliness poses such significant health problems, it carries a higher risk of premature death than smoking or obesity. In fact, many nations across the world suggest we are facing a loneliness epidemic.

As women, we work as hard as the next person. Actually, let’s be honest, we probably work a little harder as we break through the barriers. We hope our work speaks for itself, yet deep down, we know it doesn’t. The result is that we feel isolated, lonely and stressed. That is me, that is you, that is all of us at some point or another.

You can go it alone … but only so far

If you have ever put an idea out there, dared to start something new – even your own business, no doubt everyone was encouraging and told you, “You’ve got this,” and, “You can do it.” And you can.

The problem is, it’s lonely going it alone. When you leave an organisation, you leave the politics and bureaucracy behind, but what you also leave is the security of processes and procedures, a stable income and being part of a team. You are, literally, financially and emotionally, on your own.

But feeling lonely is not about being alone …

Loneliness is about feeling that no one cares. The truth is, it takes a village – and a carefully selected one at that. It takes a village not only to raise a child but to grow a business or to raise your leadership level. You cannot do it on your own.

The most successful women know this. They identify who they need in their tribe and they intentionally bring them in. Not only do they bring them in, like any team, they swap them around to ensure they leverage their unique skills, strengths and experience in a way that makes sense.

Who’s in your circle?

Do you have like-minded people in your tribe to discuss your ideas with? Are you able to test your ideas with them in a way that helps you refine them? Do your people encourage you, lovingly challenge you and have your back?

There really is no need to feel lonely – in business or life. All you need is the desire to go out, chat with people and genuinely connect. I know that, at times, this can feel scary, but once you do it a few times, you will become a pro!

So, who’s in your village?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Email me at emma@emmamcqueen.com.au

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Looking for something else?

Emma also has a podcast.