I was reading an article by Ben Crowe recently, the mindset coach behind Ash Barty and some of Australia’s most celebrated athletes, and one line stopped me mid-sip of my coffee.
He talks about how our greatest growth often comes from our darkest moments, because those moments unlock humility and curiosity.
I sat with that for a while. Not just because it’s true in sport, but because it’s true in business, in leadership, and in life.
The quiet trap so many women in business fall into
So many of the women I coach unknowingly tie their self-worth to outcomes.
The revenue goal. The launch result. The client win. The timeline they thought they should be on by now.
It’s not because they’re driven by ego. It’s because they care. Deeply. They’ve poured years of effort, late nights, and belief into what they’re building, and of course they want it to work.
But here’s what I’ve noticed, both in my own business and in the hundreds of women I’ve worked with. When your worth is attached to the result, pressure sneaks in. The goal starts to feel heavy. Doubt creeps in. You grip tighter, overthink more, and lose the very sense of ease that helped you move forward in the first place.
You stop being curious. You start being critical. And the joy of the work, the reason you started in the first place, quietly gets buried under the weight of needing it to go a certain way.
If that resonates, you might also like my piece on what to do when you feel stuck in business.
Separating your self-worth from the result
Crowe talks about separating self-worth from specific goals. I want to be really clear about what that means, because I know how it can be misread.
It doesn’t mean lowering your standards.
It doesn’t mean wanting less, caring less, or dialling down your ambition.
It means refusing to make your value as a human dependent on something you can’t fully control.
Outcomes are influenced by so many factors. The market. Timing. What’s happening in someone else’s life when your email lands in their inbox. A global event you couldn’t predict. None of that is a reflection of your worth.
What is within your control is your effort. Your preparation. Your intention. How you show up today.
When you shift your focus there, something powerful happens.
Setbacks stop feeling personal. Failure becomes feedback. And confidence, real confidence, gets built through consistency, not perfection.
What this mindset shift looks like in business
This one shift changes everything.
It lets you stay curious instead of critical when a launch doesn’t land the way you hoped. It helps you stay brave instead of brittle when a client says no. It keeps you grounded instead of reactive when the month is slower than you wanted it to be.
You start to see your business as something you’re building, not something that’s grading you.
From that place, you make better decisions. You follow up with warmth instead of desperation. You price with confidence instead of fear. You back yourself into bigger rooms because you’re not relying on the outcome to validate who you are.
This is the work I do every day with the women inside my coaching programs. The strategy matters, but the mindset is what makes it stick.
Hold your goals with ambition and a little less pressure
So this week, I want to invite you to hold your goals with ambition, but a little less pressure.
Stay connected to why you’re doing the work. Not the number. The why.
And trust that confidence doesn’t come from never doubting yourself. It comes from backing yourself enough to keep going, even on the days the doubt shows up.
Credit to Ben Crowe for the reminder we all needed.