Tea with the Queen

Boundaries in Business: Committing to the Committed

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Boundaries in business are important. At this point, I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times over.

But recently, I had a conversation with my friend Alex who put the right words into how I was feeling.

I was talking about the kind of women I was working with these days and how ready to show up they were. Then he said four words to me that made so much sense: Commit to the committed.

He said it so casually, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. And maybe it is. But for me, it was one of those lightbulb moments. This makes perfect sense.

Because if you’re a woman in business, there’s a good chance you are generous. You give your time. You share your ideas. You offer encouragement, support, wisdom, and care. You want to help. You want to make things easier for people. You want to be the kind of person who opens doors. And that is a beautiful quality. But it also means we need to be thoughtful about where our energy goes.

Generosity without boundaries can become depletion. And if we’re constantly pouring into people who aren’t truly ready, available, or willing to meet us halfway, we can end up exhausted… while the people who are ready miss out on the best of us. That’s what “commit to the committed” means to me. It means noticing who is actually showing up, who is willing to do the work, who is engaged, responsive, open, and prepared to take responsibility for their part in the process, and then choosing to place your energy there.

The story that brought this into focus

A few weeks ago, someone asked me for a free ticket to my next BD Sprint. Now, if I’m honest, my first instinct was to say yes. Helping people comes naturally to me. I know it does for so many women in business. When someone is struggling or asking for support, it can feel almost automatic to give.

But at the beginning of this year, I made a decision to slow down my decision-making. Not in a fearful way. Not in an overthinking-everything way. Just in a way that gives me space to pause before I respond, to check in, to think, and to ask myself whether the most generous response is also the wisest one.

And as I sat with the request, I realised something I’ve seen many times before: when something is given freely, it is not always valued deeply. Not because people are bad or ungrateful, but because there has been no investment. No effort. No stretch. No moment of deciding, Yes, this matters to me and I’m willing to move for it.

So instead of simply giving the ticket away, I made a different offer. I said that if she invited two other women along, I would happily gift her a ticket. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about receiving. It was about participating. It was about sharing the opportunity, creating momentum, and demonstrating a level of commitment before even entering the room. That, to me, felt aligned. It wasn’t about withholding. It was about creating a pathway that invited ownership.

Why commitment matters so much

Over and over again in business, I’ve seen that commitment changes everything. The people who create the most meaningful results are not always the loudest, the most polished, or the most naturally confident. Often, they are simply the most committed. They keep showing up. They stay in the conversation. They take the next step. They let themselves be supported. They are willing to be stretched.

I’ve seen this in my clients, in my community, and in my own life. I think of one client in particular, who was navigating an incredibly full and challenging season. There was a lot going on. Business pressure. Personal pressure. A lot to hold. And yet, she kept showing up. Not perfectly. Not effortlessly. But consistently.

Within six months, she had not only shifted the trajectory of her business but also strengthened the way she saw herself as a leader. That’s what commitment can do. It creates momentum. It builds self-trust. It turns support into transformation.

I saw the same thing in my BD Sprint. The women who came in with a clear intention, who engaged with the process, who followed through on the structure and the conversations, were the ones who created movement. Real movement. Real revenue. Real traction. Not because the container did the work for them, but because they met the opportunity with commitment.

Commitment starts with us

I also think this phrase applies inwardly. Because before we can commit to the committed around us, we often need to ask whether we are committed to ourselves.

There was a time in my business when I didn’t feel particularly confident in what I had to say. I doubted myself. I questioned whether my voice mattered. I wondered whether I really had anything valuable to contribute. But I decided to commit anyway.

I committed to writing regularly. I committed to doing it with structure and intention. I committed before I felt fully ready. And over time, that commitment changed me. It built confidence. It created evidence. It helped me trust my own voice.

Eventually, 18 months later, that commitment became my first book. That didn’t happen because I suddenly felt fearless. It happened because I kept showing up. That’s the quiet power of commitment.

Boundaries are part of generosity

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that boundaries are not the opposite of generosity. They are what allow generosity to remain sustainable.

In my coaching work, I often ask people very directly whether they are willing to do the work. Because coaching is never about me rescuing someone. It’s about partnership. It’s about support meeting responsibility. It’s about someone being willing to engage with the process, not just consume the content.

And that distinction matters. Especially in premium spaces. Because information alone rarely creates change. Transformation happens when someone is willing to participate in their own growth.

The clearer I’ve become about that, the more ease I feel in my business. There is less chasing. Less convincing. Less overextending. And more energy available for the people who are truly ready. That is better for me. And it is better for them too.

A few things to think about this week

If this idea is landing for you, here are a few gentle questions to sit with:

Where is your energy currently going? Are you investing your best time, care, and expertise into the people who are genuinely showing up? Are there places where you are over-giving in the hope that someone will become committed? Where might a clearer boundary actually create a better result for everyone involved? And what would it look like to trust that you do not need to chase people into readiness?

Because commitment is something you can feel. It shows up in action. In responsiveness. In follow-through. In willingness.

And when you begin to commit to the committed, something shifts. Your energy becomes cleaner. Your generosity becomes more powerful. Your work becomes more impactful. And your business starts to feel more aligned.

So let me leave you with this: Who is committed in your world right now? And are you giving your best energy to those people? Because that is where the magic is. That is where momentum lives. That is where real transformation begins.

Read The Full Transcript

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[00:00:00] EMMA: I wanna talk about something that stopped me in my tracks recently. It’s a phrase, just four words. It’s changed the way I think about generosity, boundaries, and where I put my energy. The phrase is: commit to the committed. And I have to give credit where credit is due. These words came from my very smart friend, Alex Hagen.
[00:00:21] We were having a conversation a little while ago, and he dropped this line in so casually, like it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. Thank you, Alex. This one is for you. Fun fact: while this podcast is made for women in business, Alex religiously listens to it. That is a good friend, isn’t it? So we love Alex. Thank you so much, Alex. He’ll have a giggle as he listens to this.
[00:00:43] Now, if you are a woman who runs a business, whether that’s service-based or product-based, chances are you are generous. We’re all pretty generous. As women, we give our time. You might give your expertise. You might give your energy freely. And that’s beautiful. Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? But today I wanna challenge you on something, just something really, really small.
[00:01:20] Are you giving your best to the people who are actually showing up? Or are you spreading yourself thin, like Marmite, trying to win over the people who aren’t? PS: I hate Marmite. Vegemite all the way. I’m an Aussie kid, what can I say?
[00:01:35] Stick with me because by the end of this episode, you’ll have three practical takeaways you can use straight away. You know I love practical takeaways on this podcast. I will also tell you a story that kicked all of this off, and it’s going to surprise you. Now, my podcast producer is gonna be very happy, because I sometimes start stories and don’t finish them. So, yay for the win.
[00:02:00] First of all, the story that started this whole thing off. A few weeks ago, someone reached out to me and asked me for a free ticket to the next BD Sprint. Now, if you know me at all, you’ll know that my first instinct was, of course, I’ll gift it. If I can help, I will. Especially when people, women in particular, are struggling and I know how to help. That’s just the way I’m wired. I’m sure some of you’re nodding along.
[00:02:28] But this time I didn’t answer straight away. At the beginning of the year, I gave myself permission to slow my decisions down, to sleep on things, and to give myself time to think rather than react. Best gift I have given myself. The longer I sat with it, the more I remembered something I’ve seen play out over and over and over again.
[00:02:54] When something is given for free, it’s rarely treasured. There’s no skin in the game. There’s no stretch. There’s no story of, woo-hoo, I did this. So I went back with a different offer. I said I’d happily gift them a ticket if they could share it and bring along two other people. I thought, fair is fair.
[00:03:17] And here’s the thing: it wasn’t about the tickets at all. It was not about the tickets. If they could sell two spots into the BD Sprint, they could sell. Full stop. It was a mini masterclass in action. They’d feel proud. They would build confidence. They’d prove something to themselves and walk in already knowing that they’re capable. A proper win-win-win, don’t you reckon?
[00:03:49] The next day I was telling Alex the story, and he smiled and nodded and, as Alex does, he’s like, “Yeah, that’s committing to the committed.” And I’m like, I’m glad I’ve got a smart friend. I just sat there for a second because he’d put language around something that I’d been doing instinctively for years, but had never quite articulated so cleanly.
[00:04:09] Committing to the committed. If they’re committed, they’ll find two people, they’ll earn their spot, and they’ll get enormous value from it. And if they’re not, no harm done. It felt aligned. It felt generous, but also generous with boundaries. It felt supportive, but not like rescuing someone.
[00:04:33] This is about how we run our businesses, how we choose our clients, and honestly how we protect our own energy so we can keep doing good work. What does it look like in practice, though? Because I’ve lived this from both sides.
[00:04:49] So my first example was the client who showed up when it would’ve been really easy not to, and I would’ve let her off the hook. So I had a client, let’s call her Danny. She’s a senior business leader. She runs multiple businesses, she sits on two boards, and she has three kids. I know. She’s amazing. Don’t even compare yourself. I try not to.
[00:05:12] One of those businesses wasn’t actually doing very well, and we were working together to turn that around. We had a session booked for 10:00 am, and overnight she’d received some really bad media coverage. Reporters were calling. The business world wanted a piece of her. It was really not good news.
[00:05:30] And I watched how this played out, and I thought, am I gonna get a text message three minutes before we go? Nope. She showed up. She was fully present. She was focused. She didn’t take a single phone call or look at her phone the entire time. I mean, the discipline of this woman. Amazing, right? Even to start with.
[00:05:52] And you know what? Within six months she’d turned that business around. She’d kept all of her talent and she turned a profit. I have no doubt that the outcome was so positive because of the way she showed up time and time again. That’s commitment.
[00:06:07] And when someone commits like that, oh man, I am all in. I will move mountains. I will cheer you on. I will be by your side. I’ve got a client for life. She’s got a business coach for life. Whoop whoop.
[00:06:20] Example number two. When I first tested the BD Sprint with my Thriving Women community, I shared some of the results with my email list and my inbox exploded. People were begging to join and within 48 hours I had created a programme structure, opened enrolments, and 50 women had signed up.
[00:06:43] I was delighted. Delighted that it hit people where they’re at. But here’s what I insisted on. I insisted on a clear plan and a day of actual business development. Not faffing around, not creating content, not hiding behind your computer. Picking up the phone, building relationships, doing the work.
[00:07:03] Then showing up in our video messaging app to share your wins, your learnings, your stuff-ups, because they’re my favourite. That’s where we all learn, when we’re all stuffing up together. My commitment back to that community was that I would provide three plans for them to choose from. I would show up every morning with a sales tip, and I would end the day with some accountability.
[00:07:32] I also provided gold stars because people are so competitive, and the gold stars is where the magic happened. The results — I think you’ve already heard some of them around the traps here — but over 10 days, 50 women generated 1,500 new LinkedIn connections. Three hundred and twenty-two phone calls were made and answered. Ninety-seven meetings were booked, 26 proposals were sent out, and 103 pieces of new business were secured, resulting in just over — I know — a lazy half a million dollars sold.
[00:08:04] We’re talking real revenue, real clients, and real momentum. And like I say, the numbers do not lie. But that wasn’t the best bit. The real magic is in the confidence. It’s in the momentum built. It’s in the beautiful daily habits that people now have. It was in the community. That community was so strong. They were cheering each other along. They were doing all the things. And everyone had fun, because sales can be fun. Who would’ve thought Emma McQueen thinks sales can be fun?
[00:08:40] And here’s the kicker for me. Ten women who joined the BD Sprint went on to join Thriving Women simply because they saw the power of daily sales effort. They got the micro wins and the confidence and they wanted more. And that only happened because both sides were committed. I committed to showing up each and every day, and they committed to doing the work. That’s the only reason. Commitment, both sides.
[00:09:08] This one’s a bit more personal. My own commitment when I had nothing to say. I’m sure everyone’s been there. When I first started my business, I was genuinely like, I’ve got nothing to say. I mean, those who know me know how ridiculous that actually sounds now. But at the time, I really believed it. I’m like, who wants to hear from me? I’ve got nothing to say. Whatever. Boring, boring, boring.
[00:09:26] So I went and worked with a copywriter. She grilled me for about three hours until I had a solid communications plan, strong content, and also some of the gold that I didn’t even know was laying there. Now, some people would pop that baby in a drawer, never to be seen again. Yeah, I’m looking at you. Pull it out.
[00:09:51] I dedicated an hour each week to writing. I put it in the diary, and I spent that hour writing. Not procrastinating, not faffing, not looking at emails. Writing. I did this consistently for about 18 months. I still write today, but these days I can kick a blog post out in about 25 minutes.
[00:10:12] Now you’re sitting there going, AI’s useful for that. I know. But I like writing. So anyway, here’s the beautiful thing that came out of that commitment that I made to myself. About a year and a half into being really consistent with my writing, I had enough material and enough confidence in my own voice to write a book.
[00:10:29] Go-Getter came out of that discipline. That commitment to showing up week after week, even when I didn’t feel like it, gave me 25,000 words in a published book. That’s not me bragging about the book. That’s me saying I committed to my writing, and I keep committing to my writing, and now I’m writing my second book.
[00:10:49] And surprise, surprise, it’s all about sales, because sales has become the heartbeat of everything that we do, and I want to put what I’ve learned into the hands of as many women as possible. None of that would’ve happened if I hadn’t committed to myself first. As Alex would say, I committed to the committed, and in this case the committed person was me.
[00:11:15] Now I wanna be honest about the flip side, because there is a flip side, and I think this is where a lot of us get a wee bit stuck. I care deeply about results. I’m known as the results coach, and specifically I care about sales results because sales is the engine of every single business. If there’s no sales, there’s no clients. If there’s no clients, there’s no revenue. You know all the things.
[00:11:41] And you can have the most beautiful brand, the most polished website, the most incredible offer in the world, but if you’re not selling it, you don’t actually have a business. You have a hobby. And I don’t coach hobbies.
[00:11:54] So one of our filter questions when someone comes to work with me is: are you prepared to do the work? It sounds straightforward, doesn’t it? Because if they’re not prepared to do the work and they expect someone else to do it — ie, me — we are gonna drive each other nuts.
[00:12:16] I will guide, I will cheerlead, I will encourage, I’ll even get my pom-poms out. Don’t you worry about that. I’m here for it. I will come up with practical solutions. I’ll give you all the strategies that you need. I’ll work with you on 30, 60, 90-day plans. Whatever is necessary. But ultimately, the results are on you.
[00:12:36] And I’ll tell you something. When I’m having a conversation with a potential client, it’s not just the conversation itself. It’s how they’ve popped into my calendar. It’s what they’ve done to prepare. Have they rescheduled me? Have they told me? Have they taken time to think of some questions? All of those things tell me how serious they are.
[00:13:00] And if you are not a fit, it’s not going to work, because I’m going to suggest things and you are just gonna go, nah, nah, nah, nah. And I’d rather you go get a different coach, someone that you vibe with, than have you coming back at me month after month going, nah, nah, nah. It doesn’t work.
[00:13:21] It sounds harsh, doesn’t it? It’s not me being harsh. It’s me committing to the committed. Let me give you one more story because I think this one really drives it home.
[00:13:32] I had a clarity call with a woman recently who had a premium offer. I’m talking premium offer. It was beautiful. And she told me very directly that she didn’t wanna do sales calls. I don’t know why she was coming to Emma McQueen, just quietly. But anyway, I’m known for sales, lady. But anyway, she wanted to create content that engaged people and essentially pushed them to buy her product. She wanted the content to do the selling for her.
[00:14:00] Content can be powerful, and I’m a huge believer in showing up consistently and building trust through what you put out into the world. I get it. I’ve got so much intellectual property myself. But the reality is, when you have a premium product or a premium service, people need to talk to you. They need to feel your energy. They need to ask the questions. They need to know that you are the right person before they hand over that kind of investment.
[00:14:33] Content alone won’t close the gap. Just in case you are not listening: content alone will not close the gap. I desperately wish it did. I have tried to do this many times. So I had to be really honest with her, and it was one of those conversations that felt a bit awkward, but also necessary.
[00:14:56] I said, look, unless you are prepared to do sales in whatever capacity feels aligned to you — because there are many ways to do that, right? — I can’t work with you. Because I’d be taking your money knowing that we’re about to hit a wall every single time I suggest picking up the phone, making a call, jumping on a Zoom call, following up a lead, and that’s just not how I wanna spend my energy. And surely you don’t wanna spend your energy on that.
[00:15:25] And that’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me. She was so lovely about it, but we both knew it wasn’t the right fit. And that’s okay. I’d rather be upfront about that on a clarity call than three months into a coaching relationship where neither of us is getting what we need. There’s no win-win there, is there?
[00:15:47] Funny story though, very quickly — she came back and asked if she could do sales with me. Hilarious. Anyway, that’s committing to the committed. Sometimes it means saying, I’m not your person and you are not my person. And that also takes courage as well.
[00:16:02] So, I’ve got some takeaways for you, because you know I love practical. Here are three things I want you to walk away with today.
[00:16:09] Check your energy. Like, just do a little audit of your energy. Look at where you are spending your time this week. Are you pouring into people who are showing up, doing the work, and meeting you halfway? Or are you chasing people who keep cancelling, keep rescheduling, keep saying maybe, keep asking for more without putting anything in? Just make a list. Be really honest with yourself. You don’t have to share it. But then redirect your energy towards the people who are committed, the people who are showing up. That’s where your results live. That’s my practical tip number one. That’s all about you.
[00:16:51] Takeaway number two: set the bar and then match it. Just like I did with the BD Sprint. I set super clear expectations upfront. Here’s what I expect. Here’s what I’d like you to do. Here’s what I need from you. And here’s what you’ll get from me. Perfect. Clear. Kind.
[00:17:11] When both sides know the deal, that’s when the magic happens. This might be work with clients, it might be work with team members, it could be referral partners, it could be anyone. Just be clear. Clarity creates the connection, and the connection creates more opportunities. And if someone can’t meet the bar, that’s okay. That’s information, not failure for either of you. It’s just data, and you get to work out how you use that moving forward.
[00:17:43] And takeaway number three: test commitment before you invest. It sounds obvious, but so often we jump in without thinking it through. And this is the lesson from the free ticket story. Brianna’s gonna be so proud of me for finishing this story off.
[00:18:00] Before you give away your time, your expertise, or your energy for free, create a small commitment test. That’s all. Just a little one. It doesn’t have to be money. It could be, bring two people along. It could be, send me three questions before our call. It could be, complete one task before we meet. There’s so many ways to test this out. So many ways, so many filters.
[00:18:29] And if they do that, brilliant, you know that they’re in. If they don’t, you’ve just saved yourself a whole lot of energy. And no harm done.
[00:18:38] Back to the story I started with. I offered someone a free ticket to the BD Sprint if they could bring two people along. What do you reckon happened? What do you reckon happened? Alright, we’ll leave it there. No, I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I’m gonna tell you what happened.
[00:18:55] She didn’t bring anyone. I wish the story was different, but it wasn’t. And you know what? That’s okay. That told me everything that I needed to know. No drama, no judgement, no hard feelings. It just confirmed that the commitment wasn’t really there in the first place. And because I set that small test, I didn’t waste my energy and neither did she. Everyone moved on.
[00:19:25] And imagine if I’d just handed over that free ticket straight away, no questions asked. She would have had a spot. She probably wouldn’t have shown up fully. She would’ve used my energy, and I would’ve given my energy to someone who wasn’t ready for it instead of someone who was. I would’ve been focused on the wrong thing, the wrong person.
[00:19:54] And that’s the power of what Alex handed me in that conversation. Commit to the committed. Four words. Absolute game changer.
[00:20:04] Generosity without boundaries leads to burnout. Generosity with boundaries leads to impact. And man, I’m all for the impact. And when you commit to the committed, everyone wins.
[00:20:22] I want you to go into this week and ask yourself: who in my world is truly committed? And am I matching that commitment? Because I’ll tell you this, I’ll always be in your corner if you are committed. Even when it’s hard, even when things aren’t going well, even when it looks disastrous, because we can turn that stuff around. Yeah, but you need to be in the arena with me. That’s the deal. You can’t be on the outside.
[00:20:52] Thanks for having a cuppa with me today. If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend. Share it with someone who needs to hear it. We want more eyes and ears on our podcast, and if you want to experience what commitment looks like in action, come join us for the next BD Sprint.
[00:21:07] I’d love to have you there. You can even bring your friends, just no free tickets, okay? Until next time, you’ve got this. Keep going.