Self doubt is sneaky.
It doesn’t usually show up as a dramatic meltdown. It shows up as a quiet sentence you say like it’s a fact.
“I’m just not good at this.”
And if you’re a woman in business, you’ve probably said it about something important. Sales. Visibility. Leadership. Money. Tech. Boundaries. Content. You name it.
The problem isn’t that the thought pops up. The problem is how quickly we treat it like truth… without checking the evidence. And if you’re serious about overcoming self-doubt, this is the first place to start.
The Go-Getter Day moment that nailed it
This came up at a Go-Getter Day in Brisbane.
The room was buzzing. Women were building marketing plans, writing emails, mapping out offers and doing the work that actually moves a business forward. I was doing quick, focused coaching sessions, and one woman sat down and the first thing she said was:
“I’m not very good at sales.”
I’ve heard that line more times than I can count. And I’ve learned not to accept it at face value.
So I asked her, “What’s your evidence?”
It turns out her “evidence” was one sales call.
One.
And that one call led to a proposal… and then a sale.
One call. One proposal. One sale. A 100% conversion rate.
And yet, her identity was still: I’m not good at sales.
That moment perfectly captured what so many of us do. We ignore the data and cling to the story and it’s exactly why overcoming self-doubt can feel so hard, even when you’re doing better than you think.
Story is loud. Evidence is quiet.
When you have a story about yourself, it shows up in very definite statements:
“I’m not good at sales.”
“I’m not confident.”
“I’m not consistent.”
“I’m not a natural leader.”
“I’m not the kind of person who…”
Evidence doesn’t talk like that. Evidence is specific. Evidence is measurable. Evidence is often boring.
And that’s why story wins so often because it feels more convincing, even if the evidence is all there.
But most of the time, what we’re calling a “skill problem” is actually a “sample size problem”.
One awkward call doesn’t mean you’re bad at sales. It means you’ve done one call.
And if you want to get serious about overcoming self-doubt, you have to stop building your identity on tiny data sets.
Three ways to stop believing the stories you tell yourself:
1) Ask for evidence
Next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m not good at this,” pause and ask: What’s my evidence?
Not your fear. Not your worst-case scenario. Not the thing you’re worried people will think. Evidence.
You might realise your story is built on one moment from three years ago that you’ve been dragging around like it’s a personality trait. And that realisation alone can be a turning point in overcoming self-doubt.
2) Separate identity from behaviour
“I’m not good at sales” is an identity statement. It’s sticky. It feels permanent.
Try this instead: “I haven’t done many sales calls yet.” Or “I’m still learning how to lead sales conversations.”
One is a life sentence. The other is a skill you can build.
3) Increase your sample size
Most people make huge decisions about themselves based on tiny amounts of data. If you want confidence, you don’t think your way into it. You collect your way into it.
More reps. More conversations. More asks. More practice. More feedback. More chances to prove to yourself that you can do hard things.\
Confidence doesn’t come first. Evidence does.
If self-doubt is whispering, “You’re not good at this,” don’t argue with it emotionally.
Interview it.
Ask for proof.
And if the proof is thin? Great. That’s not a reason to stop. That’s a reason to collect more evidence.
Because action is how you build the bank. And the bank is what shuts the story up. Believe what the evidence tells you, not the stories that you’re telling yourself.