Should you be friends with clients?
I think a lot of us have been quietly wrestling with this idea of mixing business and personal.
We’ve inherited a whole heap of rules that were never designed for the businesses we run today, especially if we previously worked in corporate. I’m a child of the 80s, and I grew up professionally in human resources, recruitment, leadership, training, and coaching. Corporate had a very clear rule book.
Having a bad day? Leave it at the front door. Don’t bring your personal life into work. Don’t take personal calls. Take your lunch break at lunchtime. Be the first person in and the last one to leave. Work hard so everyone can see you’re working hard.
Win clients through relationships, but don’t get too close. Be professional. Be sensible. Be the good girl.
At the time, some of those rules probably made sense. They were designed for organisations with hundreds of employees and consistency mattered.
When I started my own business, I packed those rules up and brought them with me without even thinking. I sat at my desk because I thought I had to. I stayed there for eight hours even if I’d finished everything by lunchtime. I waited until lunch to eat because that’s what people do. I avoided going for a walk in the middle of the day because I didn’t want anyone to think I was unprofessional or lazy.
I almost had to ask myself permission to make a coffee.
Looking back, I laugh. I left corporate for freedom, yet somehow I recreated corporate inside my own business.
A couple of years in, I had one of those moments where you stop and look around and think, what on earth am I doing here? I didn’t build this business so someone else could tell me when I was allowed to have lunch, or when I was allowed to go to the bathroom. I didn’t build this business so I could stare at a screen simply because the clock hadn’t reached 5pm.
I started this business because I wanted impact. I wanted to help women build profitable businesses. I wanted flexibility for my kids. I wanted to create a life that worked for me and my family.
So I started rewriting the rules. It didn’t happen overnight, but bit by bit, permission by permission, my new rule book came into play.
These days my work looks very different. I still get up ridiculously early because I love the quiet mornings. I love getting outside and moving before everyone else is awake. I love walking, thinking, and processing. Some of my best ideas arrive before breakfast.
But after that, the day still belongs to me. If I want a coffee at 10, I’ll have one. If I want another coffee at 11, it’s probably happening. If I want to eat chocolate at 11, don’t tell Serena. If the sun is shining and my brain has stopped working, I go outside. If I’m exhausted, I stop.
Sometimes I work anywhere in the house. Sometimes I’m out with clients. Sometimes I’m in a cafe. Sometimes I’m speaking. I might be in planning mode. I might be writing my book.
And guess what. The work still gets done. It gets done better because I’m working with my energy instead of against it.
Corporate also didn’t prepare me for this other rule I decided to throw out, the idea that business relationships have to stay in a neat little box.
I don’t believe that anymore.
If one of my clients is running an event and they need an extra pair of hands and I’m free, I’ll go help. If one of my Thriving Women is visiting Melbourne from out of town, we’ll grab a coffee. When I’m in Brisbane for Go Getter Day and the girls say, “Emma, we’re all doing a soak afterwards, do you want to come?” Absolutely. I’m there.
Some people hear that and think I’ve crossed boundaries. Maybe. Boundaries matter, but boundaries don’t mean building walls. There’s a difference.
Am I blurring the lines? Probably. I’m stirring them up like a little cocktail and I’m okay with that, because my clients are amazing humans, and I’m human, and business is personal.
When someone trusts me with their business, they’re trusting you with their dreams, their fears, their finances, sometimes their marriages, sometimes their confidence, and sometimes the hardest season of their life. You don’t coach women for years and stay completely emotionally detached. I’d be terrible at my job if I did that, and I wouldn’t want to.
Some clients become friends. Some friends become clients. Life isn’t always as neat as the corporate handbook would like you to think.
Seasons change.
So here’s the lesson I want you to think about:
How many of your business rules aren’t actually yours?
How many came from a boss, a bloke, an organisation, a workplace 20 years ago, or a society that rewarded people for looking busy instead of creating results?
Just because you’ve always done something a certain way does not mean you need to keep doing it.
You don’t need permission.
You can build a business that feels like yours, not someone else’s.