Could you leave tonight if you had to? Not emotionally – I’m talking logistically, financially and safely.
This is a sensitive conversation about domestic violence, and about how quickly a woman’s world can shrink when safety, money, housing and support are tied up in one relationship. If this topic feels close to home, please look after yourself while you listen. You can pause, come back later or skip this episode entirely. No permission needed.
I’m not here to scare you. I’m here to ask a grounded question most of us avoid, because if you ever needed to leave, you’d need courage and you’d need options.
I’ve shared before that my own mother had a shotgun pointed in her face by her partner. I was there. It was traumatic. It’s part of why I’m willing to talk about this out loud, even when it’s uncomfortable.
The Scale Of The Problem
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics 2021–2022 Personal Safety Survey, around 2.3 million Australian women, almost one in four, have experienced violence from an intimate partner since the age of 15.
The same ABS data also points to the scale of non-physical abuse. Around 1.6 million Australian women have experienced economic abuse from a partner they lived with, and around 2.3 million have experienced emotional abuse from a partner they lived with.
When we talk about domestic violence, we are not only talking about physical harm. We are talking about control, fear, and restriction, including money being monitored, access being limited, and confidence being worn down over time.
“Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?”
Imagine a woman who has spent 20 years raising children, holding a household together, and working part-time around everyone else’s needs. She’s contributed enormously, but she doesn’t have much money in her own name.
Now imagine she decides she wants to leave.
Where does she go? How does she pay a bond? How does she afford groceries, transport, legal advice and the everyday costs that many of us don’t think twice about? What happens if she has children, pets, or a business her partner can access?
Leaving isn’t simply a decision. It can be an enormous logistical, emotional and financial challenge. And we must never look at a woman in that situation and say, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” because we don’t know what she’s facing, what she’s been threatened with, or what risks she may be managing every single day.
The responsibility for violence belongs to the person choosing to use it, not the woman experiencing it.
Money Is Not The Whole Answer, But It Is Part Of It
If you’ve listened to this podcast for more than five minutes, you’ll know I’m obsessed with women being financially independent. And that’s not because money fixes everything, but because it gives you choices.
In my world, I talk about different “buckets” of money: expenses, tax, profit, and one more bucket I’m very fond of. I call it the “running away from home” bucket.
I also need to be clear. Having savings doesn’t mean someone will be safe from domestic violence. And if someone is being financially controlled, having their own bank account or putting money aside might not be possible or safe. Those situations need specialist support and careful safety planning.
But for those of us who have the opportunity to build financial independence, I want us to take it seriously, because profit is possibility. Profit is breathing room. Profit is the ability to make decisions from a position of choice rather than desperation.
What You Can Do Next
I don’t want this conversation to leave you feeling helpless. I want it to leave you thinking about what you can do.
Build financial security for yourself where you can. Know your numbers. Understand your profit. Pay yourself appropriately when your business can afford it. Build reserves and buffers.
If a woman in your life tells you she doesn’t feel safe, listen. No judgement, just curiosity. Believe her. Respect her choices. Help her connect with specialist support if she wants it.
And if you have the capacity, use what you’ve got. Your voice, your platform, your business, your community, your money. You don’t need to do everything to make a difference. You just need to do something.
No woman standing alone.
LINKS:
For a copy of Emma’s book, ‘Go-getter: Raise your mojo, shift your mindset and thrive’ – https://emmamcqueen.com.au/want-more/emmas-book/
BD Sprint: